I've moved!

>> Reflector

Never underestimate the power of prayer

From an interview with Phillips, Craig and Dean:

*Dan Dean:* My wife and I, on New Year’s Eve 2002, were preparing to get
home and be in for the night, and a young man pulled out in front of us.
[It was] this very violent collision. My wife broke her neck and back.
The neck fracture was the exact same fracture Christopher Reeve suffered.

*KRISTI WATTS: *Wow.

*Dan Dean:* But there were several great miracles that happened. Number
one, my father-in-law, the night before, had a dream that we were in an
accident and both of us were killed. He got out of bed and prayed, and
we believe that’s why we’re still here -- the power of intercessory
prayer. Secondly, there was a lady that came to my wife’s door. She had
unbuckled her seat belt and opened her door and was getting ready to get
out of the car. It was just a matter of seconds. She was saying, “Honey,
you’re hurt. Don’t move.” Had she moved, she probably wouldn’t be alive,
or if she was alive, she’d probably be paralyzed.

*KRISTI WATTS:* Wow. And see, today, 18 months later, your wife is . . . .

*Dan Dean:* She is totally, completely healed, and it’s a wonderful . .
It’s a miracle.

One school choir song that never left my memory

SETIA BERSAMA
By KRU & Sheila Majid

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

Semua yang telah terjadi yang mengajar kita
Perlu diambil ikhtibarnya
Segala yang diimpikan atau diharapkan tak semua
Menjadi nyata

Namun setiap yang sukar ketemunya sinar
Begitulah kebesarannya
Teman yang setia bersama pada waktu duka itulah
Semulia manusia di dunia

Ku ketemu sifat itu didirimu dan
Aku rela berkorban untukmu
Kita berjanji
Walau apa yang kan terjadi
Meneruskan perjuangan ini

( korus )
Bersama percaya keagungan yang esa
Bersama percayakan kita
Menuju kegemilangan rintangan menghalang
Percaya ku setia
Setia bersama

Seluas alam semesta persoalan kita
Kehidupan dan cabarannya
Setinggi ruang angkasa
Begitulah harapan kita
Abadi, aman dan bahagia

Dalam membuka lembaran baru
Ku perlu tahu kau sentiasa bersamaku
Walau bertubi rintangan kita kan gagahi
Demi mengecap nikmat duniawi

( korus )
Bersama percaya keagungan yang esa
Bersama percayakan kita
Menuju kegemilangan rintangan menghalang
Percaya ku setia
Setia bersama

Kuatkan semangatmu
Usahakan sedaya dan berdoa
Esok tiba harinya seribu harapan
Moga dapat keberkatannya

( korus )
Bersama percaya keagungan yang esa
Bersama percayakan kita
Menuju kegemilangan rintangan menghalang
Percaya ku setia
Percayalah aku setia bersama
Percaya setia, setia bersama
Ku setia bersama

The miracles that go un-noticed

Who thought a mother cat to watchfully care for her young? To pounce when anything (or anyone) comes anywhere near the little kittens? She wouldn't have watched her mom do it.. she would't have watched Dr Phil or read a book on parenting... who gave her that notion of motherhood?

Everyday I find reasons to remind myself that we don't only find God in our times of trouble. He is everywhere, in everything. It just all goes un-noticed...
and I am glad that I get a glimpse of Him when I take the time to look, coz it changes my life.

Today, I lied.

Its that stage where I don't want to get into people's bad books... I'm new at work. Today I was late. First day of the cycle, so I woke up a little later. Rushed out as fast as I could, not forgetting to pack stuff for badminton session during lunch time. I arrived and walked to Level 3, and my colleague was waiting at the steps. "Finally!". He left his access card in the office, and locked himself out. I felt so bad... the day I was late, and he got locked out.

All he asked was - "So you ready for later (badminton)...?"
And I just did it, before I could even think it thru! "Yeahh.. that's why I was late. I left home, then forgot my badminton stuff and had to go back to pick them up." Even as I was finishing that sentence I felt sick in my stomach. Argh.. why did I have to do that!??! :( I was the first one to come in anyway.. even if I was late. Why did I have to attempt to save myself even when it wasn't required and that too, by lying. Am so irritated by it. I was immediately convicted.. I knew God saw what I just did. I repented... but will I do it again? I don't want to! Its just such a disturbing thing!

मैं पागल हो रही हूँ

I go to school
mai skul jati hoon

I used to go to school
mai skul jati thi

I am going to school
mai skul ja rahi hoon

I was going to school
mai skul ja rahi thi

I went to school
mai skul gai

Chicken before egg. Period.

I don't understand how anyone could say of themselves or even agree with the idea that we came from anything else but from the very hands of our Creator.

How is it a warm feeling to think that we are merely a result of random rearrangements and adjustments to the surroundings of an ape?

I just don't get it.

I agree with natural selection. Yes, organisms adapt to their surrounding, and give up or gain certain traits in order to survive. Some go extinct because they don't survive. New traits emerge because they survive better. Microevolution. Survival of the fittest.

But I don't understand how anyone could just simply agree with the idea of macroevolution, for example, that we came from apes... (and this idea forms a chain process all the way down to the amoeba) just because a scientist said so.

What I wonder is, if we are soooo close to the apes.. why can't they sing? or draw? Or, at least by now, they should have invented something that looks remotely similar to a wheel... In my opinion, they haven't coz they simply can't. They were not created to be able to. But we were.

Weeping may remain for a night

But rejoicing comes in the morning...

As High as the Heavens - Martin Nystrom, Don Harris

I want all that's Yours

Joy unspeakable that won't go away
And just enough strength
To live for today
So I never have to worry
What tomorrow will bring
'Cause my faith is on solid rock
I am counting on God

~ Desperation Band: Counting On God

One of those profound moments on the bus.

Some people do things the "right" way,
while some people do things the "wrong" way.

(by wrong, I mean based on their own terms and conditions...
wrong as in out of their own norm...)

The one who did things the right way will never know how difficult or challenging or rewarding it could have been if he/she had done it the wrong way...
while the one who did it the wrong way will never know how simple things could have been if he/she had just done it the right way.

"Amen"

“We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around...when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen."

~ Rev. Joseph Lowery at the inauguration of Barack Obama

There's something about this day...

This is the first time I am celebrating an occasion away from home. So far, every birthday, Christmas, and New Year has been with my family. So, this day has been a first of its kind.

And its been a wonderful day... for the simplest of reasons.

Woke up coughing and trembling (Haha, the irony, yes, I'm sick). But that didn't stop me from getting out of bed and getting things done! I checked my inboxes, showered, packed and left for the office. I wanted to clear all the claims and cheques before New Year. Stopped for lunch at PGP on the way. Considering my cough, I wanted something light, but tasty. So I went for mix rice at the cheese prata shop. Had sayur masak lemak and sweet sour fish. Was a comfortable meal. Then walked over to the office. Checked the mailbox, called my sis and was ranting about stuff, then turned on my music on Deezer and got to work. Cleared mails, filed documents, tallied accounts, calculated and made out claim cheques.

Once I was done with office stuff, I decided to blog about 2008, which resulted in the blog post before this! Its been a wonderful year, with all its ups and downs, and I know I had to capture it somehow. Writing the blog post was good for me, because a huge sense of gratitude welled up inside of me. Remembering how God brought me through so many things, now it feels like I am standing on a solid rock, looking back and seeing the path I left behind me, and feeling safe that I made it thru.

After that I designed and sent out a New Year greeting card to my friends! :)

By then it was 6pm, and I was hungry again. So I packed up, and walked back to PGP. Again, looking for something yummy but comfortable. Again, I was at the cheese prata shop. And I had one good meal! I was savouring each mouthful! Sayur masak lemak, with beef rendang this time. I was happy, and very satisfied!

Walked home and decided to do some ironing. Which led me to clear out my wardrobe and rearrange all my clothes! Which then led me to pile out all my toiletries and stuff and reorganize everything. Its so good to re-vamp things. Brings a feeling of renewal and refreshment! :)

Finally, everything was so neat. The best way to top it all off was with a good shower. And now, I am fresh and admiring my curls (they look lovely after I started this new shampoo my mom got for me!).

So, I am happy. Very satisfied with 2008, and holding on before I set my mind on 2009.

2008 in Retrospect

It has been one eventful year. I might even rate it as the most eventful year I've had so far. And I am happy about it. I am amazed at the different kinds of challenges I crawled through, as well as the number of miracles that made up for them. And there's a sense of satisfaction in me... and I have only One Person to thank for it all. :)

When 2008 started, I had knots in my stomach, coz I didn't know how I was going to get thru the year without my best friend around. I sent Mickey off to US with the biggest smile I could force out of my face, but everything was sinking in my heart. Double but, at the back of my mind, there were a million resolutions forming. There were so many things I needed to do, changes I wanted to make, plans to draw out, decisions to ponder. I looked ahead and saw so many hurdles to jump!

1. 6th semester - a couple of programming modules to manage on my own (without my programmer life-guard at hand), project intensive modules that seemed impossible...
   
   
2. Moving out of hostel - by May, I will have to decide who and where to move out with and to.
   
   
3. FYP plans - I remember "What... Whooo... Howwww... Whereeeee??!" racing thru my mind at that time. I seriously had no clue.
   
   
4. 7th semester, if I survive the above, then we'll see what 7th sem brings.. later...

And now in retrospect... the miracles...

1. I learnt all I needed to learn to successfully complete all the programming related projects! Starting from a sample that Mickey left me ;), my group mates and I somehow managed it. To think how clueless I was at the beginning as I was reading thru the project requirements... it seemed impossible that we would end up with a rather impressive book database! I was so proud of us! It was my very own Amazon.com! I did well for that module... and was sooooo satisfied with the fact that I learnt so many new things in the process!
   
   
2. Now this is a definite miracle. It literally just happened as if with a touch of a magic wand... and everything just worked out! Aik already had this house he was planning to move into, and was looking for two more people... Ash and I jumped at it. Its right behind NUS, and with 7 people sharing, the rent is heaven-sent! :) Nothing short of perfect! (Except the ocassional visits from lizards, I love our house!). Now we're the official hang-out and stay-over place ;) I loooove our house!!!
   
   
3. Planning and discussions about my fyp was a really strenuous period. There were so many administrative things to do, besides the proposals that I had to come up with again and again and again... I just flowed with it, doing and re-doing whatever needed to be done and re-done... trying not to get too frantic when things messed up, telling myself that I was in good hands (RGG and my Prof have no match when it comes to mentorship). And eventually, things were ironed out. I started work proper, acheived some pretty good results. And even had a Mid-term progress presentation to prepare for which accounted for 10% of the final result. Haha.. I can't believe I survived that. With God's grace... seriously.
   
   
4. Semester 7 was studded with FYP issues, the Mid-term Progress presentation, projects and more projects, CAs, lots of journal paper readings, uncountable trips to and fro the two labs I am attached to, meetings, discussions.... and so on and so forth.
   

Sigh...No matter how much I try to write what this year was like, it just cannot match the reality of it. Its overwhelming.

Above and beyond all these academic stuff, this year was also a slow but sure journey spiritually. Just before sending Mickey off, I remember talking to him about how I felt like a such a failure. I remember crying, regretting things I had done, wishing I hadn't done this and that, scared of what the future held... I was a mess. I couldn't sense the peace that I longed for so much. And it was devastating. It felt like there was this huge cloud hanging over my head, making everything gloomy and making everything go wrong.

After he left, I decided to do something to get out of this... I simply hated what I was feeling. And I knew that the only place I could restore my peace was with God. I had drifted too far away, and that cloud over my head was made up of all my flaws that I felt I needed to get rid off. I needed forgiveness, and reassurance. And I thank God that He led me to the right place. Back to Him.

It was struggle. Changes are not easy to make. Many times, I gave up. And then had to start from scratch... I tried to make an effort to go to church every Sunday. Eventually, it became easier. I stopped making excuses for myself. And there, God took over. At every service, God would reach out to me and cause me to come to terms with the things I was facing. Sunday by Sunday, He dealt with one after another of my needs. Then he sent and angel in disguise... Jolene invited me to Radi8, I went. And I am so glad I did! It just opened me up to so many things that were going on in church, that brought about a sense of belonging. There was a Youth Camp, I went. There was a need for ushers. I offered. I helped with props and sets for the Christmas Production and was even an usher at my Cell Group Leaders' wedding! I realized that if I had just sat and waited for something to happen, I wouldn't have experience any of these. It took a decision on my part to be involved, and then I was blessed with friendships and good memories!

All these little things gave me back the confidence that was robbed from me... and personally, I was in a relationship with God again. And it was, and is the most liberating relationship anyone could ask for. He restored my peace. He picked me up and led me thru all those challenges that I was facing. He turned my tears into smiles... I am not exaggerating. Many people don't really know what I go thru in private, coz there are some things I just don't tell anyone. But this journey was one between God and me. It was a second chance, to change, to reunite, to serve, to learn, to be forgiven and loved with an unconditional love.

And I am so thankful for everything He orchestrated to bring me back to Him. He heard the yearning of my heart, He listened, and He answered. And made everything beautiful... causing me to stand in awe.

In one year, I went from this

to this.

How can I stay silent?

I start the new year with this song.
[The tune is here]

You’ve turned my mourning into dancing
Removed all my sackcloth and clothed me with joy
That my heart may sing to you
And not be silent
Oh Lord my God
I will give thanks to You

For You have set me free
Brought me new liberty
And I can never be the same again
I live in victory
For Jesus died for me

I want my life to testify
I want my life to glorify
I want my life to magnify your name

How can I hold back
How can I keep silent
Considering what God has done for me
I was bound by law
By sin and death held captive
But by the spirit of life
I am completely free

Saved by a "Browse..."

(Excuse me while I jot down some geeky stuff.... but I intend to keep an account of this, as a ray of hope when I get "bugged" again :) )

I have been facing a HUGE problem with my Honours Project coding... a barrier I have been trying to jump for weeks due to lack of knowledge and too many other things to do that I couldn't spend sufficient time getting it sorted out.

I have my back-end program coded in Perl but my front-end web interface is in PHP. So I have been trying to find a way to link them up. Oh the pain!! I guess it could have been pretty simple if I had basic knowledge about how these things work, but unfortunately I am and extremely un-weathered programmer... so my only options were to ask around and browse tutorials and forums (which were futile, coz they did not apply specifically to my problem)

But about 5 days ago, I did manage to have a couple of conversations with a programmer at BII who suggested I try three things:
(1) Re-code my Perl into PHP (Makes sense coz then everything will be in one uniform language... but I cringed at the thought of re-writing my code)
(2) Find and install the required files to be able to call a Perl class from PHP (have been trying to achieve this, but nothing made sense...)
(3) Try using forms in PHP that call a perl script via CGI (Brand new thing that I have never considered, never heard of, but figured it wouldn't hurt to try and see if I could decipher how to do it

So from then till yesterday night, I haven't had the time to try anything. So I just used my spare time during traveling and sleeping to pray. Something caused me to look upward for assistance. I simply had a couple of conversations with God.

You might not have done any programming in your 33 years on earth. But, I am certain that you were there when the blue-print of our creation was being drawn out. :) So know you know all these things because you were right there when these mind-boggling-ly intelligent people were created, who then invented the computer and the whole list of languages and logic that goes with it. Please Lord, give me some insight to how to solve my problem. I am running out of time, out of fuel and out of will-power. It drains me to have to fiddle with the same problem for such a long time. I ask for your guidance and divine interference as I try my hand at this problem again. Show me the way....

I was practically pleading with God, humourously. :)

And so last night. I tried. I typed....

" form method="get" action=".... "

... and a little blue box popped-out with suggestions to what could be inserted after the ". It said "Browse...".

Hmm.... why not? I clicked it.. and selected the Perl script that I wanted... Saved. And refreshed my browser.

AND LO AND BEHOLD...

It Worked!!!

It just simply did. I gasped. The thought of all those days that had gone by... and suddenly, it just WORKS. I cannot express such a liberating feeling. I felt a shiver running up my back.

And in my heart, I gave God a "Hi-5"!! ;)

Count on it.

(1) I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home.
(2) I know what I'm doing.
(3) I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me,
(4) I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else,
(5) I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "
(6) I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile.
(7) You can count on it.

Jeremiah 29:10-14
Pastor Peter Lui